Book Review – How to Win Friends and Influence People – Dale Carnegie


Relationship is an important factor in life and human beings are very prone to “make up and break up” situation which happens several times. Human relations are established with various factors and it depends on us how we keep those relations intact. There are also situations where we are influenced by others and we consider them as our ideal. Looking at the other way, one can also be an ideal for others, can influence and have a good convincing power. There are many work, research and books written on human behaviour and human relations, this article picks one of them. The book titled “How to Win Friends and Influence People”, written by Dale Carnegie is a must read for everyone as it makes us understand several practical life facing situation with ample examples.

About the Author

PC: Google

Dale Carnegie was an American writer and lecturer. Born on 24th November 1888 in Missouri in United States, his work is considered to be the finest in terms of human relations, inter personal skills, public speaking and self-improvement. He was a famous writer of his time and his work is still remembered today.

Carnegie’s first collection of his writings was Public Speaking: a Practical Course for Business Men (1926), later entitled Public Speaking and Influencing Men in Business (1932). In 1936, he wrote How to Win Friends and Influence People which became a bestseller from its debut. By the time of his death on 1st November 1955, the book had sold five million copies in 31 languages. He wrote several other books including:

  • The Art of Public Speaking
  • The Leader in You
  • How to Stop Worrying and Start Living
  • How to Enjoy Your Life and Your Job etc.

The book title of Dale Carnegie says all about the content and is indeed impressive and draws attention and so does the material inside the book.

About 15 percent of one’s financial success is due to one’s technical knowledge and about 85 percent is due to skill in human engineering- to personality and the ability to lead people.

– Dale Carnegie

Dale Carnegie books had many things to offer for book lovers. All his books contain many examples which provides a broad view of the perspective. It will not be injustice to say that his books provide a practical way to look at the situations in life. The best part of his writing was, he used to provide examples followed by establishing the principles.

About the Book

PC: Google

How to Win Friends and Influence People is his best-selling book. Published in 1936, till today this book is read by many across the globe as it provides basic etiquette that one should posses in his life. The book deals with the fundamental techniques in handling people, six ways to make people like you, how to win people to your way of thinking and how to change people without giving offense or arousing resentment. Each of the afore-mentioned topics are dealt in separate part of the book.

In the words of Dale Carnegie, “Dealing with people is probably the biggest problem you face, especially if you are in business”.  The same is applicable in day to day life as People’s Management plays a vital role in life.

In life, we often come to situation we are criticized by others and we do criticize others. The book starts with the fundamental techniques in handling people and guess what is the first fundamental principle? It is indeed criticism. It says not to criticize, condemn or complain. In fact, Dale Carnegie states that ‘Criticism is a self-defence tool.” The chapter on criticism is worth to read and understand.

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain- and most fools do.

– Dale Carnegie

This book is best known for providing Six ways to Make People Like You which are as follows:

  1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
  2. Smile
  3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
  4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
  5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interest.
  6. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.

The entire book is full of powerful and motivational statements. It gives you a sense of self-love as well apart from motivation. While reading the book, one can feel the power of words and get the essence of some worth literary pieces. The entire book is motivational and contains worth reading material. I have picked some of the quotes which is worth reading and hence thought sharing the same which includes:

  • In our interpersonal relations we should never forget that all our associates are human beings and hunger for appreciation. It is the legal tender that all souls enjoy.
  • First, arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.
  • The desire for a feeling of importance is one of the chief distinguishing differences between mankind and animals.
  • If there is any one secret of success, said Henry Ford, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.
  • The world is full of people who are grabbing and self-seeking. So the rare “individual who unselfishly tries to serve others has an enormous advantage. He has little competition.
  • We are interested in others when they are interested in us.
  • People who talk only of themselves think only for themselves. And those people who think only of themselves are hopelessly uneducated. They are not educated, no matter how instructed they may be.
  • If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes; but it will be an empty victory because you will never get your opponent’s goodwill.
  • Buddha said: “Hatred is never ended by hatred but by love, and a misunderstanding is never ended by an argument but by tact, diplomacy, conciliation and a sympathetic desire to see the other person’s viewpoint.

There are many other quotes which are impressive and worth to read but it is not possible to mention all. Read the book as it is a good material for developing interpersonal skills and self improvement which in turn helps in personality development.  Many people might have already gone through this book and those who haven’t please read it as it is readily available in almost every book stall and can be purchased online as well. I will be coming up with more stuffs on books soon.

Stay tuned… Stay happy and keep visiting… 🙂 🙂

– Ashish Kumar

A Musical Journey…


Some fiasco teaches and some ruins.
Life is about making the tune.
Everything changes and so does life.
Adopt the changes in order to survive.
Life is a mixture of pleasure and pain.
Enjoy the pleasure and curb the pain.
Problems are part of life and it will come.
Be smart enough to solve them and overcome.
Every problem has a hidden learning.
Identify that and get the meaning.

Life is a musical journey.
Enjoy its music and don’t worry.
Be it sad, good, romantic and tragic.
Every moment is itself a magic.
Life is short and precise.
Live it with joy and rise.
Make the best out of it and learn.
At the end you will earn.
Remember…
Life is a musical journey.
Enjoy its music and don’t worry.
Some fiasco teaches and some ruins.
Life is about making the tune.

– Ashish Kumar

Few Quotes – 12


 

Hi all. Hope all are doing well and must be busy with preparing for upcoming Diwali. I would like to wish all of you a very Happy Diwali in advance. 🙂  After a big gap of more than one and half years, I am posting few of my quotes today. My last post on quotations was in January 2016. Sorry for not posting my quotes for such a long time. I hope these quotes which are related to somewhat what we call work-life balance would be liked by you all. Read, enjoy and share your thoughts on these quotes.

  • Work is never a problem. It’s the people who creates problem in work.
  • Never mix your professional life with your personal life.
  • Work never ends but life does.

Ashish Kumar

The best is yet to come


Cursed in the middle of life.
Darkened by the absence of light.
Depressed by the fall of a fruitful tree.
Receiving problem from life without fee.
Moving in the unknown path.
In search of a new path.
May be the chance is not much.
But the best is yet to come.

During of midst of good and bad.
Thought whether life has made me mad.
Shivered from the sudden demise of hope.
I am finding the cape of good hope.
Life is never problem free.
Wondered is life is a problem for me?
Finding solution which is some.
As the best is yet to come.

Haunted memoirs often come in my dream.
Burning those memoirs with my new dream.
Loving the problems is my new hobby.
As I do love my hobby.
Life has no meaning without problems.
Attitude is to tackle the problem.
Although one may not always succeed.
Try and take risk in order to proceed.
Life gave many startling situations.
Paved me to take startling decisions.
Left in an uncertain and sudden void.
I cried a lot with inner voice.
Body shivered and heart crippled.
I was left with nothing settled.
Accepted the tragedy with stone-hearted heart.
As I have to start from scratch first.
Sooner or later I will stand and come.
As the best is yet to come.
The best is yet to come.

– Ashish Kumar

Suicide – Right or wrong?


Suicide, the word seems to be little awkward and is generally considered to be a crime. There can be many reasons to commit suicide. This article highlights one of the major problems i.e suicide which is rarely discussed.

India reported 1,33,623 suicidal deaths in the year 2015 as per the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB), Ministry of Home Affairs, Government of India. This figure is strange as more than a lakh people committed suicide. Out of the total suicide, female suicide accounted to 42088 and male suicide were 91528 and rest 7 were transgender. Let us look at some statistics of suicides in India as illustrated in the following table which highlights the top 10 suicidal states.

Table 1: Suicidal deaths in top 10 states in the year 2015
State Suicidal Deaths
Maharashtra 16970
Tamil Nadu 15777
West Bengal 14602
Karnataka 10786
Madhya Pradesh 10293
Telangana 10140
Kerela 7692
Gujarat 7246
Chattisgarh 7118
Andhra Pradesh 6226
Source: National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB), Ministry of Home Affairs, Government of India.

As it can be interpreted from the above table, Maharashtra, Tamil Nadu and West Bengal are leading in suicidal deaths. The above table also states that the problem of suicide is present throughout India from north to south, west to east which is an alarming situation. Let us look at the top 10 major cities in India having a wide number of suicidal deaths which is illustrated in the following table.

Table 2: 10 major cities with suicidal deaths in the year 2015
City Suicidal deaths
Chennai 2274
Bengaluru 1855
Delhi 1553
Mumbai 1122
Pune 873
Ahmedabad 869
Hyderabad 728
Surat 663
Indore 528
Nagpur 483
Source: National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB), Ministry of Home Affairs, Government of India.

From the above table, Chennai is the leading city with highest number of suicidal deaths and can be said as the suicidal capital of India. The five major cities of India namely Delhi, Mumbai, Chennai, Bengaluru and Hyderabad are in the list of top 10 cities having suicidal deaths.

There can be many reasons for suicide. Some of the reasons can be work pressure, extra marital affairs, love failure, household atrocities, depression, stress, no hope for survival, examination pressure of failure, hunger, lack of basic amenities to live, poverty etc. However, the exact reason behind people committing suicide is difficult to find. Some people say that it is the state of mind which allows people to take such step. Yes, it is the mind who decides what to do and what not to do and it is ultimately the decision of people who go to end their life. This is startling but is the harsh reality.

Life is precious and should be lived and enjoyed while facing the bad moments. Nothing lasts forever, whether it is good or bad. Approach should be to fight and not to quit and end up one’s life. One needs to be strong enough to tackle the situation. It’s amazing to know that there are cases where people come to end up their life if failed in some activities which they have desired most. But is committing suicide is right? Life doesn’t end if you fail.

Please share your views on suicide. Those who commit suicide, is it right or wrong? What according to you is the reason behind committing suicide and what steps can be taken in order to curb suicidal deaths? Please share your thoughts.

– Ashish Kumar