Learn to Unlearn



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Learning is a continuous process and we learn from our life which consists of ups and downs. We learn from our experience and our mistakes which plays drastic role in shaping our personality and our future. Life is full of startling moments and frankly speaking, this moment teaches us a lot. Be it good or bad, meets our expectations or not, those moments plays a significant role in life. What we read in our academics and what we learn from our work experience are crucial indeed but one should be ready to unlearn few things. Confused? What it means is, one should also try not to learn what he is willing to learn and on the other side, one should also unlearn which he had already learnt. Unlearning means, to discard something from your memory which you learnt previously. Let us see few things which one should try to unlearn:

  • Bad Habits: We learn many habits in our life easily and whether to continue with those habits is a choice. Habits can be good and bad and it’s better to unlearn the bad habits and keep the good habits. Again, one should also unlearn the habit of willing to learn the bad things. Put it simply, if one is willing to learnt some bad habits, he should unlearn his habit of learning bad habits.
  • Overconfidence: Confidence is required and necessary in our life but overconfidence can be dangerous. Being confident enough is good but one should not be overconfident as it leads to opposite results sometimes. Hence, it’s better to unlearn being overconfident.
  • Unrealistic: Be realistic in nature and set your standards as per your convenience. Simply stated, be pragmatic and unlearn being unrealistic.
  • Pretending; This is one of the most important things many possess which should be unlearned. Many people have the habit of pretending themselves to be smart in many aspects, be it academics or in day to life. In fact, many will indulge unnecessarily and start their knowledge sharing without being requested. Also, many people have the habit of late sitting in office pretending themselves to be very occupied with work. Many also do late sitting in order to get attention from their superiors. What they do by late sitting is a question mark. No doubt, if it is required sometimes late sitting should be done depending on the nature and complexity and emergency of work. But doing late sitting just to show-case is not correct. “Late sitting should not be considered as virtue.” There are several other aspects of pretending or show-casing which should be unlearned. Be natural in your work and behavior.
  • Claiming to be Omniscient: Here comes one more interesting thing which requires attention. Many people have the habit of claiming themselves to be omniscient, meaning they know everything. These people are so well self-motivated and self-proclaimed that they think what they are saying is always correct and no one knows more than what he knows. This is where ego and attitude starts growing and ultimately it reaches a stage where self-proclaimed omniscient person doesn’t considers and listens to others as what he thinks is only right. These people find difficult to get respected.  Nobody is perfect  in this world and hence, unlearn claiming to be omniscient.
  • Critic: It’s better not to criticize on everything and every time. Criticize only if it is requires and that too in a constructive manner. Criticism should never be made a habit and hence, unlearn being a critic. I have already discussed in my previous article titled, Unnecessary Criticism and hence will keep it short.

Learning is very important and in my opinion learning to unlearn few things is also important. There can be many other aspects of unlearning apart from what I have shared as the above list is not exhaustive. There might be one question in your mind and that is, which one is difficult; learn or learn to unlearn? The answer to this question is difficult and it is subjective. However, with my little experience, I think unlearning is difficult than learning or learning to unlearn is difficult. What is your take on unlearning and which one  is more difficult? Do share your views. 🙂 🙂

– Ashish Kumar

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Behavioral Knowledge



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One of the important characteristics of any person is his behavior which is an important indicator of personality. What needs to be said and the manner in which it needs to be conveyed is important. Behavior is indeed a major factor or better to say it is a deciding factor in almost all aspects of life. Sometimes it is said that knowledge is important but behavioral knowledge is most important. Knowledge doesn’t mean what one learns from books but it is a combination of bookish knowledge and behavioral knowledge. Behavioral knowledge is what one learns from his experience, day to day work, interacting with people etc. Behavior also shapes one’s character which, if lost is a disaster itself.

Life is full of ups and downs. When one achieves something, it is natural to be happy and feel proud. On the opposite side, failure disappoints us leading to depression and frustration in some cases. We always desire to achieve best in our life with our efforts and skills. When one desires to be different and make a difference, behavior does matter. World is full of amazing people having different behavior and it plays an important role in shaping our life. How we behave decides our fate as well. There are many aspects of behavioral knowledge which I have discussed below:

  • Criticism: Criticize only when it is required and necessary. Criticizing others is the easiest thing one can do. It doesn’t take much to criticize others but repercussion may be drastic. Criticism is also a self defense tool. It is also said that being a critic is the easiest thing one can do. Criticism is frequently used everywhere, be it in job or not. In fact, managers in the organizations find various ways to criticize their subordinates. Many criticize just to show their power which is not acceptable at all. There are cases also where unnecessary criticism ended up in belligerent situation. Nobody will tolerate to be criticized when there is no fault from his side. Hence, criticize only when it is required. Constructive criticism should be welcomed and unnecessary criticism must be avoided. In fact, in his famous book titled, “How to win friends and influence people”, the author, Dale Carnegie had suggested not to criticize and condemn.
  • Appreciation: One should appreciate others if he deserves. There is no shame in appreciating others work but unfortunately this practice is not followed. There are hardly few who genuinely appreciate others work and feel happy for their achievement. The reason can be many and one of them is the feeling of jealously. It has been observed that people avoid appreciating other because they feel jealous which should not be the case. Appreciation is a tool of motivation. If you appreciate other, you will be appreciated in return. It is a courtesy which shows your respect and recognition for others. You will not lose anything if you appreciate but you will gain respect from the one whom you appreciated.
  • Judgmental: No doubt, people are judgmental and they pass their judgment. What they conclude in the form of their judgement is what they perceive. They conclude without any analysis. Do we possess enough knowledge to judge others or do we have right to pass judgement? Ask this question before giving your judgement. Many people pass their view suddenly and declare the end result. This can be understood by an example. Suppose a student has completed his higher secondary education and decides to go for career in engineering having firm faith in him that he can pursue engineering and do well in his career but one of the family members were not convinced with his choice as there were no engineers from their family in the past. They bluntly said you cannot become an engineer as none from our family has yet become and hence choose some other career. They simply passed their judgement. Take other example, people do judge with what you eat and wear. People do judge with status symbol or better to say have materialistic approach towards others. Poor people are the best example. Dr APJ Abdul Kalam was born in very poor family and he used to sell newspapers in his childhood to run the family and to bear his expenses for study. People used to pass various comments and judgement on Kalam’s study and his future but the rest is history as he became the Missile Man of India and later the President of India.  There are many other examples where you can come up with such situation. Hence, beware before passing any judgement as you never know where that person will be in future whom you are passing your judgement.  Give suggestions which are welcomed but don’t give your judgement which may be reversed in future.
  • Pragmatic: One should be pragmatic which means being practical. Behave and decide as per the prevailing situation. Be practical enough to realize the complexity of life and be flexible enough to cope up with the changes. Behave as per the situation. Be realistic in your approach.
  • Empathy: Empathy means putting yourself in others situation. It is often said, one should have empathy for others. If someone is in problem, understand their problem and help them if they need but don’t make fool of him. Put it simply, one can feel the pain of hunger only when he has not eaten for few days or else he will never know what hunger means. Similarly, if someone is suffering from any problems, understand it and help him if he asks but don’t make fun of his problem. There are many who enjoys a lot when they see others are suffering from any miss happening which is not at all right. If you enjoy and make fun out of others issues and problems, you may encounter such scenes in your life as well. Don’t laugh on others problems instead have some empathy. Empathetic behavior is very important which is missing now a day. Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella, in his book titled “Hit Refresh” has insisted and recommended empathy a lot and in any organization, managers must have empathy for their subordinates. Empathy reflects sense of caring attitude which is a kind of motivation. Employee should feel that the management and the organization do care for them.
  • Support: Support is as important as any other thing for anyone. Be it mental or monetary, support is required at some part in life. If you can’t support, don’t criticize as well. Support is not help as it is usually seen. Support means you are standing behind someone whom you trust or understand. There are times when you have to take tough decisions in life but there is no one to support you. That time, if you get anyone who is in support of you and taking your side, it is a kind of energy-booster. It also requires courage to support.
  • Learn: Learning is a continuous process. Don’t consider yourself to be an omniscient person. Life is the best teacher and it teaches us from situation, either good or bad which we experience in our life. Mistakes are part of life and one should learn from the mistakes. Technical or non-technical, learning gives you the result at some point in life. People generally become hopeless in difficult situation but tackling those situations is also a kind of learning. Confused? If you can tackle challenges in life, you have learned to face challenges which ultimately help you in decision making which is very crucial. Having said this, one should also learn to unlearn. What needs to be unlearned is a question? To put simply, learn to unlearn bad attitude and ego. Keep yourself updated and don’t learn those things which needs to be unlearned. Every people has something unique and one should learn from others as well. Learn the positive aspect and unlearn the negative ones.  Learn to discover your strength which you possess. One of the best method of learning yourself is introspection which gives you chance to talk to yourself and discover your areas where it requires improvement. Introspect at least once in a day or in a week as it is a game changer. The essence of introspection can be felt by one of the famous quotes of Swami Vivekananda which says, “Talk to yourself at least once in a day, otherwise you may miss a meeting with an excellent person in this world.”
  • Give and take respect: Respect is the end result what you get from your behavioral knowledge. It is that thing which may or may not have any monetary value but definitely have some recognition which you have earned from others. When you are respected, you have value and your words will have more weightage. Having said this, respect is earned and cannot be purchased and it can be only earned by your behavior which have many aspects discussed in above points like criticism, appreciation, empathy etc. You have to respect others to get respected. Be calm and polite. Respect others opinion as well and don’t force your opinion on others unless it is extremely required. One can purchase lot of stuffs and earn lot of money but may not earn respect. It totally depends on how we behave and how we listen and respect others as well.

Knowledge is necessary part of life and behavioral knowledge is a kind of value addition which shapes one’s personality and character. The various aspects of behavioral knowledge which I shared above is my personal thinking and the list is not exhaustive. What I have thought is important as far is behavior is concerned and that too in the form of knowledge, I tried to share in this article.  In my opinion, behavior is as important as any other thing. Be it work, home or any other place, behavior decides many things in our life. What to say and what not to say is important and crucial. Bad behavior creates problem at the end and it is we who need to decide how to behave as it decides our fate as well. Let me summarize some of the take away from the above discussion:

  • Don’t criticize. If required, approach should be Constructive Criticism.
  • Appreciate others work
  • Don’t pass judgement. Give suggestions if required.
  • Be pragmatic
  • Keep learning from your experiences and mistakes
  • Be empathetic
  • Give respect

I was having this theme in my mind from many months but finally though of writing this article on behavioral aspect of knowledge or what I say, Behavioral Knowledge. What’s your take on behavior? Is behavior plays important part in our life? Does behavior shapes our personality and character? Please share your views…. 🙂 🙂

– Ashish Kumar

Dream night


I slept one night with positive vibes.

Dream came with negative vibes.

My entire structure collapsed.

It was difficult to find way to survive.

I saw myself struggling a lot.

Trying to build a new plot.

Construction started with full effort.

That also vanished due to a sudden storm.

There was nothing left to gain.

I was suffering with severe pain.

Crying from inside and outside.

I was fighting in my dream night.

Left alone in the curse of life.

I was finding some ray of light.

Barking words coming from everywhere.

Nothing is left anywhere.

Humanity killed and humans are alive.

That’s the real world I must realize.

People won’t be sympathetic.

Better I should become pragmatic.

Suddenly I woke up from my dream.

Surprised to know what I saw in the dream.

Dream gave me one lesson.

Don’t give up but fight with your passion.

What I learnt is what I shared.

Dream taught me which I should care.

It was a nice morning looking at the rising sun.

Learning to move ahead with hope of none.

Humans have forgotten humanity.

Sorry to say but that’s the reality.

I saw that dream long ago.

It gave me courage to go and get go.

The dream which I saw that night,

where I was fighting in my dream night.

It became my dream night which gave me courage to fight.

Ashish Kumar