Born Player…

During the golden period of life.

We normally enjoy being survived.

Even though we are not good.

We pretend to act being good.

The question arises…

What is good and when it is good?

Trying to find the answer.

We are trapped in our own mind.

Why this happens?

Answer is yet to be found.

A simple try to go…

Deep inside the heart.

Where we need to interact.

Diving the midst of our soul.

We should try to burn all memories which were foul.

Life has several layers.

We are a born player.

Sometime lost and sometimes won.

Losing does not ends the zeal.

Life is real and not a reel.

Good and bad memories will come.

Introspection too needs to be done,

to find the real “me”.

Residing inside “me’.

As nothing lasts forever.

You are a born player.

We are a born player.

• Ashish Kumar

Losing the viability…

Germs of wrong deeds accumulate over time.
Necessary to introspect and rectify the same on time.
Distinction between “Mistakes” and “Crime” should be understood.
Benchmark must be established to maintain the livelihood.
Deeds are important part of life as it determines destiny.
What is right or wrong should be understood primarily.
Mistakes can be forgiven and but not the crimes.
Do the mistakes to learn and stay away from crimes.
Learn from the natural resources about their contribution.
They never praise themselves for their immense contribution.
Human beings are present everywhere in this world.
Getting difficult to find “humanity” in this crowded and cruel world.
People forget their acts which are sinful in nature.
At the end, destroying the beauty of nature.
People are running in an unknown race.
What they will achieve with such a pace?
Love and gratitude are losing its place.
Unnecessary aggression and criticism are taking its place.
Pretending and self- praising are gaining popularity.
Introspection and self-realization are losing their viability.
Losing their viability….

– Ashish Kumar

Behavioral Knowledge

One of the important characteristics of any person is his behavior which is an important indicator of personality. What needs to be said and the manner in which it needs to be conveyed is important. Behavior is indeed a major factor or better to say it is a deciding factor in almost all aspects of life. Sometimes it is said that knowledge is important but behavioral knowledge is most important. Knowledge doesn’t mean what one learns from books but it is a combination of bookish knowledge and behavioral knowledge. Behavioral knowledge is what one learns from his experience, day to day work, interacting with people etc. Behavior also shapes one’s character which, if lost is a disaster itself.

Life is full of ups and downs. When one achieves something, it is natural to be happy and feel proud. On the opposite side, failure disappoints us leading to depression and frustration in some cases. We always desire to achieve best in our life with our efforts and skills. When one desires to be different and make a difference, behavior does matter. World is full of amazing people having different behavior and it plays an important role in shaping our life. How we behave decides our fate as well. There are many aspects of behavioral knowledge which I have discussed below:

• Criticism: Criticize only when it is required and necessary. Criticizing others is the easiest thing one can do. It doesn’t take much to criticize others but repercussion may be drastic. Criticism is also a self defense tool. It is also said that being a critic is the easiest thing one can do. Criticism is frequently used everywhere, be it in job or not. In fact, managers in the organizations find various ways to criticize their subordinates. Many criticize just to show their power which is not acceptable at all. There are cases also where unnecessary criticism ended up in belligerent situation. Nobody will tolerate to be criticized when there is no fault from his side. Hence, criticize only when it is required. Constructive criticism should be welcomed and unnecessary criticism must be avoided. In fact, in his famous book titled, “How to win friends and influence people”, the author, Dale Carnegie had suggested not to criticize and condemn.
• Appreciation: One should appreciate others if he deserves. There is no shame in appreciating others work but unfortunately this practice is not followed. There are hardly few who genuinely appreciate others work and feel happy for their achievement. The reason can be many and one of them is the feeling of jealously. It has been observed that people avoid appreciating other because they feel jealous which should not be the case. Appreciation is a tool of motivation. If you appreciate other, you will be appreciated in return. It is a courtesy which shows your respect and recognition for others. You will not lose anything if you appreciate but you will gain respect from the one whom you appreciated.
• Judgmental: No doubt, people are judgmental and they pass their judgment. What they conclude in the form of their judgement is what they perceive. They conclude without any analysis. Do we possess enough knowledge to judge others or do we have right to pass judgement? Ask this question before giving your judgement. Many people pass their view suddenly and declare the end result. This can be understood by an example. Suppose a student has completed his higher secondary education and decides to go for career in engineering having firm faith in him that he can pursue engineering and do well in his career but one of the family members were not convinced with his choice as there were no engineers from their family in the past. They bluntly said you cannot become an engineer as none from our family has yet become and hence choose some other career. They simply passed their judgement. Take other example, people do judge with what you eat and wear. People do judge with status symbol or better to say have materialistic approach towards others. Poor people are the best example. Dr APJ Abdul Kalam was born in very poor family and he used to sell newspapers in his childhood to run the family and to bear his expenses for study. People used to pass various comments and judgement on Kalam’s study and his future but the rest is history as he became the Missile Man of India and later the President of India.  There are many other examples where you can come up with such situation. Hence, beware before passing any judgement as you never know where that person will be in future whom you are passing your judgement.  Give suggestions which are welcomed but don’t give your judgement which may be reversed in future.
• Pragmatic: One should be pragmatic which means being practical. Behave and decide as per the prevailing situation. Be practical enough to realize the complexity of life and be flexible enough to cope up with the changes. Behave as per the situation. Be realistic in your approach.
• Empathy: Empathy means putting yourself in others situation. It is often said, one should have empathy for others. If someone is in problem, understand their problem and help them if they need but don’t make fool of him. Put it simply, one can feel the pain of hunger only when he has not eaten for few days or else he will never know what hunger means. Similarly, if someone is suffering from any problems, understand it and help him if he asks but don’t make fun of his problem. There are many who enjoys a lot when they see others are suffering from any miss happening which is not at all right. If you enjoy and make fun out of others issues and problems, you may encounter such scenes in your life as well. Don’t laugh on others problems instead have some empathy. Empathetic behavior is very important which is missing now a day. Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella, in his book titled “Hit Refresh” has insisted and recommended empathy a lot and in any organization, managers must have empathy for their subordinates. Empathy reflects sense of caring attitude which is a kind of motivation. Employee should feel that the management and the organization do care for them.
• Support: Support is as important as any other thing for anyone. Be it mental or monetary, support is required at some part in life. If you can’t support, don’t criticize as well. Support is not help as it is usually seen. Support means you are standing behind someone whom you trust or understand. There are times when you have to take tough decisions in life but there is no one to support you. That time, if you get anyone who is in support of you and taking your side, it is a kind of energy-booster. It also requires courage to support.
• Learn: Learning is a continuous process. Don’t consider yourself to be an omniscient person. Life is the best teacher and it teaches us from situation, either good or bad which we experience in our life. Mistakes are part of life and one should learn from the mistakes. Technical or non-technical, learning gives you the result at some point in life. People generally become hopeless in difficult situation but tackling those situations is also a kind of learning. Confused? If you can tackle challenges in life, you have learned to face challenges which ultimately help you in decision making which is very crucial. Having said this, one should also learn to unlearn. What needs to be unlearned is a question? To put simply, learn to unlearn bad attitude and ego. Keep yourself updated and don’t learn those things which needs to be unlearned. Every people has something unique and one should learn from others as well. Learn the positive aspect and unlearn the negative ones.  Learn to discover your strength which you possess. One of the best method of learning yourself is introspection which gives you chance to talk to yourself and discover your areas where it requires improvement. Introspect at least once in a day or in a week as it is a game changer. The essence of introspection can be felt by one of the famous quotes of Swami Vivekananda which says, “Talk to yourself at least once in a day, otherwise you may miss a meeting with an excellent person in this world.”
• Give and take respect: Respect is the end result what you get from your behavioral knowledge. It is that thing which may or may not have any monetary value but definitely have some recognition which you have earned from others. When you are respected, you have value and your words will have more weightage. Having said this, respect is earned and cannot be purchased and it can be only earned by your behavior which have many aspects discussed in above points like criticism, appreciation, empathy etc. You have to respect others to get respected. Be calm and polite. Respect others opinion as well and don’t force your opinion on others unless it is extremely required. One can purchase lot of stuffs and earn lot of money but may not earn respect. It totally depends on how we behave and how we listen and respect others as well.

Knowledge is necessary part of life and behavioral knowledge is a kind of value addition which shapes one’s personality and character. The various aspects of behavioral knowledge which I shared above is my personal thinking and the list is not exhaustive. What I have thought is important as far is behavior is concerned and that too in the form of knowledge, I tried to share in this article.  In my opinion, behavior is as important as any other thing. Be it work, home or any other place, behavior decides many things in our life. What to say and what not to say is important and crucial. Bad behavior creates problem at the end and it is we who need to decide how to behave as it decides our fate as well. Let me summarize some of the take away from the above discussion:

• Don’t criticize. If required, approach should be Constructive Criticism.
• Appreciate others work
• Don’t pass judgement. Give suggestions if required.
• Be pragmatic
• Keep learning from your experiences and mistakes
• Be empathetic
• Give respect

I was having this theme in my mind from many months but finally though of writing this article on behavioral aspect of knowledge or what I say, Behavioral Knowledge. What’s your take on behavior? Is behavior plays important part in our life? Does behavior shapes our personality and character? Please share your views…. 🙂 🙂

– Ashish Kumar

Solitude – Pleasure or pain?

Solitude is one the situations which often makes or break confidence, relations, mindset, perception etc. It is the state or situation where one feels alone or lonely. Human nature wants to be known and admired and solitude is just opposite where one finds himself to be detached from everyone. The reason of being felt lonely can be many like not getting what desired, love failure, introvert nature, jealousy etc. The repercussion of solitude is sometimes harsh even leading to suicidal death which is startling and extreme. One of the main consequences of solitude is that people lose hope and get depressed. Losing hope is that state where one finds nothing positive for himself and negative vibes starts accumulating in mind.

Feeling of loneliness is not new and one feels lonely several times in life. Some of the common reasons behind solitude are love failure, failure in innovating something new, break up in the relationships etc. If you are a song lover, you might have came across many songs which are solely based on solitude. When people fail in love, they think they are nowhere and they are the one who finds themselves the loneliest person in world. When someone resigns from his job because he doesn’t liked it, it also gives a lonely feeling till he finds a suitable job as per his interest. When there is a misunderstanding which leads to fight between family members and all are members are against you, solitude again finds a place. There are many other circumstances where one encounters solitude in his/her life. All these are part of life and should be taken as an experience.

Life has many aspects and solitude or feeling of loneliness is one of them which can be a pleasure or pain. Surprised to see how it can be a pleasure? Yes it can be a pleasure if one takes this as an opportunity. Generally, people consider solitude as a pain. It is a pain if one thinks it in that way and can be a pleasure as well if you have guts to convert that pain into pleasure which is difficult but not impossible. One should think in a different way and should take solitude as an opportunity. Solitude is that situation where one finds himself to be detached from rest of the world.  When you are detached, you have enough time to think and rejuvenate yourself. Surprised??? Solitude gives you a chance to talk to yourself what we call as introspection and introspection leads to creativity and innovation. When you introspect, you are able to find the loopholes and can start from scratch or can find the better way round which can give fruitful results. Solitude also gives you the chance to know your inner strength, how strong you are and how you are going to manage trying circumstances. All these counts and makes you much stronger than before. Converting solitude into an opportunity is difficult but not impossible. Solitude indeed gives you a chance to prove yourself and come back with smiling face post debacle, if any.  The only thing matter is how one takes this situation, either positive or negative. Choice has to be made.

It takes time to get rid of the bad moments where one finds himself detached but should not allow prolong accumulation of negative vibes which ultimately leads to depression and frustration. Take time and start as nothing lasts forever.  If you keeps on thinking and thinking on what happened in past or past bad memories then how you will live in present and how will you secure your future? In my opinion, solitude is neither a disaster nor a debacle;  it’s a part of our life. Life has many layers, both good and bad. I too have been in solitude several times and was able to tackle which was a nice experience. Experience again is very important in life, both positive and negative which makes you a strong person which helps you in decision making. Remember one thing, if you feel lonely because of absence of people around you, your conscience and confidence still remains within you which are capable enough to convert negative into positive. What I would convey is take solitude not as a burden but spent some time and think and come back with smiling face. Lastly, I would like to share one of the famous quotes of Bob Marley.

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

– Bob Marley

 

– Ashish Kumar

Ignoring the beauty of life…

 

Looking at every aspect of life.
We do ignore the beauty of life.
During the midst of happy and sad.
We really become, sometimes mad.
Chasing the one which we don’t need.
Lands us in situation of greed.
Even the heart says it is wrong.
We indulge in doing the wrong.
Involving in the thorny path.
We ignore the present golden path.
Instead of finding the positive.
We do find negatives in positive.
Leaving the glorious beauty aside.
We move towards the unhealthy side.

One needs to have introspection.
Instead of indulging in conspiration.
Life has several layers to come.
Good or bad, we need to overcome.
During the sole honeymoon period.
We forget the struggle period.
One should learn from the mistakes of past.
Rather than blaming the past.
The mindset needs to be changed.
Then only we can bring a change.
Harsh reality still persists.
As…
Looking at every aspect of life.
We do ignore the beauty of life.
Ignore the beauty of life.

– Ashish Kumar