Unnecessary Criticism…

One of the aspects of behavior is to criticize. Criticizing is easy and it is a tool of self defense and is widely used to protect and pass the buck. Some people have the tendency to criticize unnecessary every time for everything or better to say it becomes a habit. Some use their position and power to criticize and arouse a proud feeling among them. But the thing is why to criticize unnecessary when it’s not required? Accepted the fact when you have done something wrong and it is your mistake, you have to face criticism which is fair enough. What repercussions will have if one criticizes unnecessary as a part of one’s habit? Does this need to be avoided or promoted?

Let me share couple of examples where criticism can reach to next level.

• My name is Ashish as you all know. One day, one of my friends asked me my name and I shared that. Later on he wrote “Ashish” in a piece of paper to confirm whether he spelled it correctly or not. I verified and asked him to spell it out correctly. He was wondering why I asked him to correct although the spelling is correct. After some time, he came and asked what mistake he made? I replied, my name is “Ashish” and not “Ashish”. All of you got confused??? Hold on… The person was snatching his head and having no clue what I am saying and he asked me to correct his mistake, if any. I said see my friend, you have put the second “s” before first “s” which is absolutely wrong.  🙂 😛 Think for a while what this mean. This is the height of criticism which one may encounter. The thing is those who have habit of criticizing can’t see things correct. They will and will find flaws and loopholes from any angle, whether relevant and irrelevant as in the above example. You may find such kind of jokes on social media but I consider this sarcasm for those who always find flaws in everything.
• A person went to office on time and got engaged in his work as usual. After some time, his boss came and asked the status of one of the emails which he was supposed to send to his boss. The person responded stating that he had sent that email yesterday evening before leaving for his home and he texted him on WhatsApp to inform the same. The boss was looking at him and shouted suddenly, “Why didn’t you gave me a call?” The person responded politely, “I did called you sir last evening but you didn’t picked up the phone.” Hearing this, the boss aggressively said, “You mean I am irresponsible?” He said , “ I didn’t mean that sir”. Boss again shouted and said, “You could have called me and said that you are about to call me. Why you didn’t informed me through call that you were about to call me??” It was difficult to answer such question for him and he politely said, “Since you didn’t picked up my phone that’s why I informed through WhatsApp.” His boss walked away giving an angry look. The person was wondering and laughing at his boss attitude and habit of criticizing. How can a person will call and inform that he is about to call? Isn’t it bullshit? Having work experience for more than a decade and claiming himself as an omniscient person but he doesn’t possess basic etiquettes. After some time, the boss was seen again coming to his desk and that person went to washroom. When he returned, his boss asked, “You are not present at your desk anytime. Roaming here and there…” Now it was above his tolerating capacity and he responded to his boss aggressively, “You came to my desk in the morning and criticized me for filthy reasons. You were talking to me or to my ghost? You gave all the useless statements which is not expected from a person who always claims to be the most influential and omniscient person in this world. Even though if you consider yourself to be intellectual or omniscient, it’s a big joke.  You, being the boss is a disaster or better to say, an intellectual disaster. Yes you are an intellectual disaster “. The boss got insulted in front of all subordinates due to his unnecessary criticism which became intolerable to his subordinate.

The above two examples are just illustrations. The first one describes how critic one can be. The second one describes the repercussions of the unnecessary criticism which needs to be avoided. Every person has some tolerating capacity and if it goes beyond that, belligerent situation may arise which is difficult to control.  Criticize only if required and it should be in positive way or better to say, constructive criticism. When you criticize, the objective should be to rectify the flaws, if any and not just only because you do for your enjoyment or show-casing your power/position.  Nobody is perfect and if you criticize in order to solve the flaws, the counterparty may take that in positive way and most probably he/she will be willing to improve the mistakes made.

So what do you think on criticism? Please share your views and experience if any. 🙂

– Ashish Kumar

Solitude – Pleasure or pain?

Solitude is one the situations which often makes or break confidence, relations, mindset, perception etc. It is the state or situation where one feels alone or lonely. Human nature wants to be known and admired and solitude is just opposite where one finds himself to be detached from everyone. The reason of being felt lonely can be many like not getting what desired, love failure, introvert nature, jealousy etc. The repercussion of solitude is sometimes harsh even leading to suicidal death which is startling and extreme. One of the main consequences of solitude is that people lose hope and get depressed. Losing hope is that state where one finds nothing positive for himself and negative vibes starts accumulating in mind.

Feeling of loneliness is not new and one feels lonely several times in life. Some of the common reasons behind solitude are love failure, failure in innovating something new, break up in the relationships etc. If you are a song lover, you might have came across many songs which are solely based on solitude. When people fail in love, they think they are nowhere and they are the one who finds themselves the loneliest person in world. When someone resigns from his job because he doesn’t liked it, it also gives a lonely feeling till he finds a suitable job as per his interest. When there is a misunderstanding which leads to fight between family members and all are members are against you, solitude again finds a place. There are many other circumstances where one encounters solitude in his/her life. All these are part of life and should be taken as an experience.

Life has many aspects and solitude or feeling of loneliness is one of them which can be a pleasure or pain. Surprised to see how it can be a pleasure? Yes it can be a pleasure if one takes this as an opportunity. Generally, people consider solitude as a pain. It is a pain if one thinks it in that way and can be a pleasure as well if you have guts to convert that pain into pleasure which is difficult but not impossible. One should think in a different way and should take solitude as an opportunity. Solitude is that situation where one finds himself to be detached from rest of the world.  When you are detached, you have enough time to think and rejuvenate yourself. Surprised??? Solitude gives you a chance to talk to yourself what we call as introspection and introspection leads to creativity and innovation. When you introspect, you are able to find the loopholes and can start from scratch or can find the better way round which can give fruitful results. Solitude also gives you the chance to know your inner strength, how strong you are and how you are going to manage trying circumstances. All these counts and makes you much stronger than before. Converting solitude into an opportunity is difficult but not impossible. Solitude indeed gives you a chance to prove yourself and come back with smiling face post debacle, if any.  The only thing matter is how one takes this situation, either positive or negative. Choice has to be made.

It takes time to get rid of the bad moments where one finds himself detached but should not allow prolong accumulation of negative vibes which ultimately leads to depression and frustration. Take time and start as nothing lasts forever.  If you keeps on thinking and thinking on what happened in past or past bad memories then how you will live in present and how will you secure your future? In my opinion, solitude is neither a disaster nor a debacle;  it’s a part of our life. Life has many layers, both good and bad. I too have been in solitude several times and was able to tackle which was a nice experience. Experience again is very important in life, both positive and negative which makes you a strong person which helps you in decision making. Remember one thing, if you feel lonely because of absence of people around you, your conscience and confidence still remains within you which are capable enough to convert negative into positive. What I would convey is take solitude not as a burden but spent some time and think and come back with smiling face. Lastly, I would like to share one of the famous quotes of Bob Marley.

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

– Bob Marley

 

– Ashish Kumar

Why do people react so often ???

There are time when we come across situations where the conversation among the two persons becomes aggressive suddenly and we are left in shocking condition. We wonder what went wrong suddenly? The reason for such reactions can be many from suppressing the anger to intentionally reacting to get rid of the conversation, and at the same time, avoid interacting with such person in future as well. Also sometimes the problem which can be resolved properly becomes complex due to such reactions. In a group also if everything is going fine and suddenly one of the group members reaction is not up to the mark, things become complicated. The problem which can be solved politely and peacefully becomes complex and sometime going in to never solving state. But what make people to react at a sudden?

There are many who pretend to be too familiar and behavioral with friends or groups and leave no stone unturned to maintain such status in front of others even though they aren’t. And from the back they continue to criticize you unnecessary which hurts when it comes in to your knowledge. Also it may happen when you need any assistance from these people because you think them to be humble enough, you may get a reverse reaction from them and it happens. I am sure many of you who are going through this post have experienced this in your life.  So, what can be said about those? Are such reactions optimal and feasible enough to continue?

Life is good when we are good to others. Behavior is one of the most important aspects in life which can make or break relations, which can be of any kind. Does such kind of unnecessary behavior required? We are human beings and we commit mistakes and that’s how we learn as learning is a continuous process. But what about those who commit mistakes and never acknowledge and continue to indulge in blame game? Newton’s 3^rd law of motion says “every action is having an equal and opposite reaction”. In case if someone gives such reaction, shall we also start giving such response to those? Is tit for tat is the solution?

But one question which still remain unanswered is Why do people react so often even though if it is not required??? What is your view on this… Please share in the form of your comment… 🙂

– Ashish Kumar

 

Thank you The Undertaker…

The Undertaker, one of the greatest World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) superstars of all time shocked the world by signalling his retirement after being defeated by Roman Reigns at Wrestlemania 33 on April 2, 2017. After the match with Roman Reigns, the Undertaker left his gloves, coat and hat in the center of the ring and walking up the ramp and performing his signature arm raise pose.

Born on 24th March, 1965, Mark William Calaway, popularly known as The Undertaker is remembered for his 21 continuous win at Wrestlemania after being defeated by Brock Lesnar at Wrestlemania 30. This continuous win at wrestlemania is a streak which is unprecedented. His name has become synonymous with WWE. This is a small tribute to the legend whose legacy will remain forever. He will be inducted in the WWE Hall of Fame soon.

Thank you Undertaker for everything for 27 long years. 🙂

– Ashish Kumar

 

Perception about writers…

Hello  to all my bloggers and writers and to all who are reading this post. There is a question which often comes in my mind that why people think writer’s are unconventional and not normal. Most of the times I have seen people commenting about the writers ability to write and convey their thoughts. Or better to say they simply conclude that “writers are mad”. 😦 Are we really ???

Being myself a writer I can feel this kind of thoughts coming from those group of people who are non-writers. The question is how and why they perceive like this? I think if I am able to write something apart from academics work , it is an extra talent which I posses. This perception can be easily observed and I think you might have felt the same at some point in life. It is a kind of startling perception.

One reason can be they are jealous that how he/she is able to write while doing other task as well. 🙂 Those who write they only know how much effort and dedication is required in writing which include fiction, short stories, poems, articles etc. What to include and what not to include in the posr? Is the post can be related to those who are reading ? Also those criticize writers they forget that they too are reading something either in books, internet or newspapers, novels  etc which are also being composed by non other than writers itself. I have been also criticized by many like “Kya likhte rehta hai… koi kaam nahi hai kya? (What you are always writng… Don’t have any other work?) ” 

I tell you the reason why I write. I write because I love to do so and I hope most of the writers write because of the same. It is the passion which keeps on growing  which results into creation of new posts.  I have written a poem summarizing about why people write. You can read that poem titled Why do I write?  So whats your take on perception about writer’s? Share your views in the form of comments…

– Ashish Kumar