One of the aspects of behavior is to criticize. Criticizing is easy and it is a tool of self defense and is widely used to protect and pass the buck. Some people have the tendency to criticize unnecessary every time for everything or better to say it becomes a habit. Some use their position and power to criticize and arouse a proud feeling among them. But the thing is why to criticize unnecessary when it’s not required? Accepted the fact when you have done something wrong and it is your mistake, you have to face criticism which is fair enough. What repercussions will have if one criticizes unnecessary as a part of one’s habit? Does this need to be avoided or promoted?
Let me share couple of examples where criticism can reach to next level.
- My name is Ashish as you all know. One day, one of my friends asked me my name and I shared that. Later on he wrote “Ashish” in a piece of paper to confirm whether he spelled it correctly or not. I verified and asked him to spell it out correctly. He was wondering why I asked him to correct although the spelling is correct. After some time, he came and asked what mistake he made? I replied, my name is “Ashish” and not “Ashish”. All of you got confused??? Hold on… The person was snatching his head and having no clue what I am saying and he asked me to correct his mistake, if any. I said see my friend, you have put the second “s” before first “s” which is absolutely wrong. 🙂 😛 Think for a while what this mean. This is the height of criticism which one may encounter. The thing is those who have habit of criticizing can’t see things correct. They will and will find flaws and loopholes from any angle, whether relevant and irrelevant as in the above example. You may find such kind of jokes on social media but I consider this sarcasm for those who always find flaws in everything.
- A person went to office on time and got engaged in his work as usual. After some time, his boss came and asked the status of one of the emails which he was supposed to send to his boss. The person responded stating that he had sent that email yesterday evening before leaving for his home and he texted him on WhatsApp to inform the same. The boss was looking at him and shouted suddenly, “Why didn’t you gave me a call?” The person responded politely, “I did called you sir last evening but you didn’t picked up the phone.” Hearing this, the boss aggressively said, “You mean I am irresponsible?” He said , “ I didn’t mean that sir”. Boss again shouted and said, “You could have called me and said that you are about to call me. Why you didn’t informed me through call that you were about to call me??” It was difficult to answer such question for him and he politely said, “Since you didn’t picked up my phone that’s why I informed through WhatsApp.” His boss walked away giving an angry look. The person was wondering and laughing at his boss attitude and habit of criticizing. How can a person will call and inform that he is about to call? Isn’t it bullshit? Having work experience for more than a decade and claiming himself as an omniscient person but he doesn’t possess basic etiquettes. After some time, the boss was seen again coming to his desk and that person went to washroom. When he returned, his boss asked, “You are not present at your desk anytime. Roaming here and there…” Now it was above his tolerating capacity and he responded to his boss aggressively, “You came to my desk in the morning and criticized me for filthy reasons. You were talking to me or to my ghost? You gave all the useless statements which is not expected from a person who always claims to be the most influential and omniscient person in this world. Even though if you consider yourself to be intellectual or omniscient, it’s a big joke. You, being the boss is a disaster or better to say, an intellectual disaster. Yes you are an intellectual disaster “. The boss got insulted in front of all subordinates due to his unnecessary criticism which became intolerable to his subordinate.
The above two examples are just illustrations. The first one describes how critic one can be. The second one describes the repercussions of the unnecessary criticism which needs to be avoided. Every person has some tolerating capacity and if it goes beyond that, belligerent situation may arise which is difficult to control. Criticize only if required and it should be in positive way or better to say, constructive criticism. When you criticize, the objective should be to rectify the flaws, if any and not just only because you do for your enjoyment or show-casing your power/position. Nobody is perfect and if you criticize in order to solve the flaws, the counterparty may take that in positive way and most probably he/she will be willing to improve the mistakes made.
So what do you think on criticism? Please share your views and experience if any. 🙂
– Ashish Kumar
One of the important characteristics of any person is his behavior which is an important indicator of personality. What needs to be said and the manner in which it needs to be conveyed is important. Behavior is indeed a major factor or better to say it is a deciding factor in almost all aspects of life. Sometimes it is said that knowledge is important but behavioral knowledge is most important. Knowledge doesn’t mean what one learns from books but it is a combination of bookish knowledge and behavioral knowledge. Behavioral knowledge is what one learns from his experience, day to day work, interacting with people etc. Behavior also shapes one’s character which, if lost is a disaster itself.
Life is full of ups and downs. When one achieves something, it is natural to be happy and feel proud. On the opposite side, failure disappoints us leading to depression and frustration in some cases. We always desire to achieve best in our life with our efforts and skills. When one desires to be different and make a difference, behavior does matter. World is full of amazing people having different behavior and it plays an important role in shaping our life. How we behave decides our fate as well. There are many aspects of behavioral knowledge which I have discussed below:
- Criticism: Criticize only when it is required and necessary. Criticizing others is the easiest thing one can do. It doesn’t take much to criticize others but repercussion may be drastic. Criticism is also a self defense tool. It is also said that being a critic is the easiest thing one can do. Criticism is frequently used everywhere, be it in job or not. In fact, managers in the organizations find various ways to criticize their subordinates. Many criticize just to show their power which is not acceptable at all. There are cases also where unnecessary criticism ended up in belligerent situation. Nobody will tolerate to be criticized when there is no fault from his side. Hence, criticize only when it is required. Constructive criticism should be welcomed and unnecessary criticism must be avoided. In fact, in his famous book titled, “How to win friends and influence people”, the author, Dale Carnegie had suggested not to criticize and condemn.
- Appreciation: One should appreciate others if he deserves. There is no shame in appreciating others work but unfortunately this practice is not followed. There are hardly few who genuinely appreciate others work and feel happy for their achievement. The reason can be many and one of them is the feeling of jealously. It has been observed that people avoid appreciating other because they feel jealous which should not be the case. Appreciation is a tool of motivation. If you appreciate other, you will be appreciated in return. It is a courtesy which shows your respect and recognition for others. You will not lose anything if you appreciate but you will gain respect from the one whom you appreciated.
- Judgmental: No doubt, people are judgmental and they pass their judgment. What they conclude in the form of their judgement is what they perceive. They conclude without any analysis. Do we possess enough knowledge to judge others or do we have right to pass judgement? Ask this question before giving your judgement. Many people pass their view suddenly and declare the end result. This can be understood by an example. Suppose a student has completed his higher secondary education and decides to go for career in engineering having firm faith in him that he can pursue engineering and do well in his career but one of the family members were not convinced with his choice as there were no engineers from their family in the past. They bluntly said you cannot become an engineer as none from our family has yet become and hence choose some other career. They simply passed their judgement. Take other example, people do judge with what you eat and wear. People do judge with status symbol or better to say have materialistic approach towards others. Poor people are the best example. Dr APJ Abdul Kalam was born in very poor family and he used to sell newspapers in his childhood to run the family and to bear his expenses for study. People used to pass various comments and judgement on Kalam’s study and his future but the rest is history as he became the Missile Man of India and later the President of India. There are many other examples where you can come up with such situation. Hence, beware before passing any judgement as you never know where that person will be in future whom you are passing your judgement. Give suggestions which are welcomed but don’t give your judgement which may be reversed in future.
- Pragmatic: One should be pragmatic which means being practical. Behave and decide as per the prevailing situation. Be practical enough to realize the complexity of life and be flexible enough to cope up with the changes. Behave as per the situation. Be realistic in your approach.
- Empathy: Empathy means putting yourself in others situation. It is often said, one should have empathy for others. If someone is in problem, understand their problem and help them if they need but don’t make fool of him. Put it simply, one can feel the pain of hunger only when he has not eaten for few days or else he will never know what hunger means. Similarly, if someone is suffering from any problems, understand it and help him if he asks but don’t make fun of his problem. There are many who enjoys a lot when they see others are suffering from any miss happening which is not at all right. If you enjoy and make fun out of others issues and problems, you may encounter such scenes in your life as well. Don’t laugh on others problems instead have some empathy. Empathetic behavior is very important which is missing now a day. Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella, in his book titled “Hit Refresh” has insisted and recommended empathy a lot and in any organization, managers must have empathy for their subordinates. Empathy reflects sense of caring attitude which is a kind of motivation. Employee should feel that the management and the organization do care for them.
- Support: Support is as important as any other thing for anyone. Be it mental or monetary, support is required at some part in life. If you can’t support, don’t criticize as well. Support is not help as it is usually seen. Support means you are standing behind someone whom you trust or understand. There are times when you have to take tough decisions in life but there is no one to support you. That time, if you get anyone who is in support of you and taking your side, it is a kind of energy-booster. It also requires courage to support.
- Learn: Learning is a continuous process. Don’t consider yourself to be an omniscient person. Life is the best teacher and it teaches us from situation, either good or bad which we experience in our life. Mistakes are part of life and one should learn from the mistakes. Technical or non-technical, learning gives you the result at some point in life. People generally become hopeless in difficult situation but tackling those situations is also a kind of learning. Confused? If you can tackle challenges in life, you have learned to face challenges which ultimately help you in decision making which is very crucial. Having said this, one should also learn to unlearn. What needs to be unlearned is a question? To put simply, learn to unlearn bad attitude and ego. Keep yourself updated and don’t learn those things which needs to be unlearned. Every people has something unique and one should learn from others as well. Learn the positive aspect and unlearn the negative ones. Learn to discover your strength which you possess. One of the best method of learning yourself is introspection which gives you chance to talk to yourself and discover your areas where it requires improvement. Introspect at least once in a day or in a week as it is a game changer. The essence of introspection can be felt by one of the famous quotes of Swami Vivekananda which says, “Talk to yourself at least once in a day, otherwise you may miss a meeting with an excellent person in this world.”
- Give and take respect: Respect is the end result what you get from your behavioral knowledge. It is that thing which may or may not have any monetary value but definitely have some recognition which you have earned from others. When you are respected, you have value and your words will have more weightage. Having said this, respect is earned and cannot be purchased and it can be only earned by your behavior which have many aspects discussed in above points like criticism, appreciation, empathy etc. You have to respect others to get respected. Be calm and polite. Respect others opinion as well and don’t force your opinion on others unless it is extremely required. One can purchase lot of stuffs and earn lot of money but may not earn respect. It totally depends on how we behave and how we listen and respect others as well.
Knowledge is necessary part of life and behavioral knowledge is a kind of value addition which shapes one’s personality and character. The various aspects of behavioral knowledge which I shared above is my personal thinking and the list is not exhaustive. What I have thought is important as far is behavior is concerned and that too in the form of knowledge, I tried to share in this article. In my opinion, behavior is as important as any other thing. Be it work, home or any other place, behavior decides many things in our life. What to say and what not to say is important and crucial. Bad behavior creates problem at the end and it is we who need to decide how to behave as it decides our fate as well. Let me summarize some of the take away from the above discussion:
- Don’t criticize. If required, approach should be Constructive Criticism.
- Appreciate others work
- Don’t pass judgement. Give suggestions if required.
- Be pragmatic
- Keep learning from your experiences and mistakes
- Be empathetic
- Give respect
I was having this theme in my mind from many months but finally though of writing this article on behavioral aspect of knowledge or what I say, Behavioral Knowledge. What’s your take on behavior? Is behavior plays important part in our life? Does behavior shapes our personality and character? Please share your views…. 🙂 🙂
– Ashish Kumar
Indian Constitution is one of the finest in the world which came into effect from 26th January 1950. India, being the largest democracy of the world is a sovereign state and it’s Constitution has been praised worldwide.
Popularly known as the Republic Day, 26th January is one of the National festivals apart from Independence Day and Gandhi Jayanti, both of which are celebrated on 15th August and 2nd October respectively. Independence Day marks the celebration of India becoming independent from British regime way back on 15th August, 1947 while Gandhi Jayanti is celebrated as to remember Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi, popularly known as Mahatma Gandhi to mark his birth anniversary. He is also known as the Father of Nation.
On the eve of Republic Day, the President of India hoist the national flag and addresses the nation at Rajpath, New Delhi. Also Governor of different states hoist the national flag in the State capital. This day is celebrated proudly across the nation.
So on the eve of the Republic Day, I wish you a very happy Republic Day. Do good to yourself and to our nation as well. Let’s keep up the good spirit with our deeds and work in order to take India to next level. 🙂 Let’s always work to make India better and better so that our National flag i.e The Tricolor should keep flying proudly at the top. Become a contributor in nation building. Happy Republic Day.. Be happy… Stay blessed… 🤗
– Ashish Kumar
Writing is an art. When a writer pens down his creativity with the use of magical words, a new literary piece is born. It takes immense effort to write, from beginning to the end. What to write and how to present it? It happens several times when you thought of writing something chosen but came up writing on something else. Isn’t it??? Even though when you come up writing something else which you didn’t thought of doing so and when the end result is satisfying, it is again a new creation. This happened with me several times. I think to write something specific and come out of writing something else.
Writing gives me satisfaction and I am sure it gives satisfaction to all who writes. But what happens when the writers are unable to write for some time or the thinking ability slows down for a while. The situation where writers are unable to produce their literary pieces is what we call the “writer’s block”. It is the situation where the author loses the ability to produce new work or experiences a creative slowdown. This is quite natural and happens with every writer. It gives the writer to take rest from writing for a while and come back with refreshing new literary pieces. Going forward, refreshment does play a role when one comes back. As the mind is ready, devoted and the best part is, one writes from his heart.
As it is said, when you write keep the heart and the soul intact in your literary work, then only readers will get the real fragrance and taste of your writing. Don’t let the “heart and soul” missing in your work. Writer’s block is a way to revive yourself, think little different and come up with a new genre. For example, if someone is writing mostly on romanticism, he may come up writing on social issues etc. I think the writer’s block gives a chance to think differently, try different genre and also present in different way. I have been away from writing several times. In blogging world, I was silent for about six months too due to my studies and other personal stuffs but was always happy to come back. I avoid forceful writing. Whenever I have something in my mind, I try to present to all of you. Writer’s block is not a misfortune. There might me several reasons making writers to go in the writer’s block, from personal to professional etc. But there is always a chance for come back. So, what is your take on writer’s block? Have you ever been in the writer’s block? Do share your views and experience…
– Ashish Kumar
Solitude is one the situations which often makes or break confidence, relations, mindset, perception etc. It is the state or situation where one feels alone or lonely. Human nature wants to be known and admired and solitude is just opposite where one finds himself to be detached from everyone. The reason of being felt lonely can be many like not getting what desired, love failure, introvert nature, jealousy etc. The repercussion of solitude is sometimes harsh even leading to suicidal death which is startling and extreme. One of the main consequences of solitude is that people lose hope and get depressed. Losing hope is that state where one finds nothing positive for himself and negative vibes starts accumulating in mind.
Feeling of loneliness is not new and one feels lonely several times in life. Some of the common reasons behind solitude are love failure, failure in innovating something new, break up in the relationships etc. If you are a song lover, you might have came across many songs which are solely based on solitude. When people fail in love, they think they are nowhere and they are the one who finds themselves the loneliest person in world. When someone resigns from his job because he doesn’t liked it, it also gives a lonely feeling till he finds a suitable job as per his interest. When there is a misunderstanding which leads to fight between family members and all are members are against you, solitude again finds a place. There are many other circumstances where one encounters solitude in his/her life. All these are part of life and should be taken as an experience.
Life has many aspects and solitude or feeling of loneliness is one of them which can be a pleasure or pain. Surprised to see how it can be a pleasure? Yes it can be a pleasure if one takes this as an opportunity. Generally, people consider solitude as a pain. It is a pain if one thinks it in that way and can be a pleasure as well if you have guts to convert that pain into pleasure which is difficult but not impossible. One should think in a different way and should take solitude as an opportunity. Solitude is that situation where one finds himself to be detached from rest of the world. When you are detached, you have enough time to think and rejuvenate yourself. Surprised??? Solitude gives you a chance to talk to yourself what we call as introspection and introspection leads to creativity and innovation. When you introspect, you are able to find the loopholes and can start from scratch or can find the better way round which can give fruitful results. Solitude also gives you the chance to know your inner strength, how strong you are and how you are going to manage trying circumstances. All these counts and makes you much stronger than before. Converting solitude into an opportunity is difficult but not impossible. Solitude indeed gives you a chance to prove yourself and come back with smiling face post debacle, if any. The only thing matter is how one takes this situation, either positive or negative. Choice has to be made.
It takes time to get rid of the bad moments where one finds himself detached but should not allow prolong accumulation of negative vibes which ultimately leads to depression and frustration. Take time and start as nothing lasts forever. If you keeps on thinking and thinking on what happened in past or past bad memories then how you will live in present and how will you secure your future? In my opinion, solitude is neither a disaster nor a debacle; it’s a part of our life. Life has many layers, both good and bad. I too have been in solitude several times and was able to tackle which was a nice experience. Experience again is very important in life, both positive and negative which makes you a strong person which helps you in decision making. Remember one thing, if you feel lonely because of absence of people around you, your conscience and confidence still remains within you which are capable enough to convert negative into positive. What I would convey is take solitude not as a burden but spent some time and think and come back with smiling face. Lastly, I would like to share one of the famous quotes of Bob Marley.
You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.
– Bob Marley
– Ashish Kumar